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/m/ - Monologue

ἐδιζησάμην ἐμεωυτόν.
Miscellaneous fragmental writings, self-dialogues, and rantings.
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     No.28

    People feel horrified when they realize that their so-called destiny/fate is largely predictable. Events are merely in a calculated sequence, and everything happens within that calculation.
    The Chinese BaZi and purple star system emphasize the calculation of societal & individual events in this very way. I realized a long time ago that this is what makes thought/idea incredibly free and unrestrained, with a depth that is genuinely unpredictable. I mean, when they are compared, they are not in the same level obviously.
    Only the content of thinking and feeling can be meaningful. "Thinking" almost dominates everything unpredictable. "Feeling" collaborate with "thinking", resulting in Art that possesses considerable depth.
    This is called Art, not destiny/fate.

     No.32

    Purple star astrology system care nothing about morals, it just explains that algorithm which mainly belongs to those "actual gods". Any moral teachings of any religion or culture is illusion of civilization, also it is deceptive and a means for actual gods to control man. Actual gods have forms, characteristics, and its functions. But the God-Absolute don't have such things. The empirical world is a theater in the true sense. The empirical world needs morals (good or bad, it doesn't matter) and scripts about the events (good or bad, to the minimum degree is classified by individual, and the maximum degree is by country or nationality) to function very well.
    Speculative minds and intuitive minds are facing the same theater-world that actual gods have managed from a very ancient times.

    Perception is not free, idea alone is free and eternal. However,
    - Perception without idea is meaningless illusion.
    - Idea without perception is "stunted and impoverished". (this description came from Steiner, also see: http://dswarmsikhttkg7jgsoyfiqpj3ighupfrvuz5ri3lu5q2dlqyrpgk7ad.onion/posts/quotes.html#33 )
    When perception is only being intended to produced for the forming of ideas, it makes that sense. This makes the God alive. This is how man escape this theater-world that actual gods control. Even if actual gods exists (the actual god does always continue to exist and function), the Truths has not yet taken shape.

     No.34

    - “太阳巨门” The Sun, The Gloomy Star
    - Emotionality belong to the cyclical relationship that indicates event-emotionality

     No.35

    When I first know some stories about 出马仙 agents I found they are stupid, evil and absolutly in a state of servitude.
    出马仙 are not even "actual gods", they are just ultimate "moral"-driven slaves that want to praise actual gods to take benefits. They are essentially spiritual animals.

    They give me a feeling like that when I was a teenager kid I showed my indifferent and ignorance to some ghosts that wanted to make fun of me. Those ghosts perhaps were the 中阴身 state of normie elders who just passed away and they literally make fun of me wanted to see my reaction.