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/m/ - Monologue

ἐδιζησάμην ἐμεωυτόν.
Miscellaneous fragmental writings, self-dialogues, and rantings.
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     No.80

    Sonically speaking, the Noise / industrial "music" is anti-body. At least they anti human ears, a part of the human body. I need to drink a lot of coffee for preparing a listen for these music, to stay away from the pain of my ears - and headache of my head.
    Industrial music, especially, is a kind of music that is far removed from the "soul", and this is one of the reason I appreciate it. I guess my hostility towards the "soul" comes from the actual separation of pain from this "I" - I'm actually dismissive of pain - and I seem to think that the soul and pain are inextricably linked.

     No.81

    >>80
    At certain times, I dismissed "spiritual suffer", yet now want to correct here: what I refered to is soul suffer [1] - surely, in my own understanding. Spirit and soul, to me, are so different, till this day I really confused by philosophers' ambiguous usage of these two terms…
    If deities/gods are merely ideas, souls - (Schelling's views) - then they're not spirits. I agree spirit is somehow equal to intelligence [2], spirit is not that kind of "thing" can be assigned to individuals or collectives, even archetypes (as to archetypes, I'm only guessing here).
    It is not as one-sided as soul. Soul is always one-sided. Soul is unexplainable, is closed.

    [1] spirit don't suffer.
    [2] In music, I agree Varese's views, regarding this "intelligence".

    What is then love? I came to a feeling that, love is proving, love (when as an action) is an effort to recognize the truth. So it might be, Love=Truth, when love as a concept. Therefore, a mathematical proof clearly indicates this "love" in its purest and most recognizable form. Love is about wisdom, knowledge, intelligence, and they're all about spirit, not soul. When I equated knowledge, intelligence, with God, I finally discovered that God can be equated with love. Here I also don't understand why everyone regards love=God as the first condition, because the condition they think is undeniable is a conclusion here.