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/b/ - Stochastic

"Alle Empfindungen stiegen bis zu einer niegekannten Höhe in ihm. Er durchlebte ein unendlich buntes Leben; starb und kam wieder, liebte bis zur höchsten Leidenschaft, und war dann wieder auf ewig von seiner Geliebten getrennt."
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     No.144

    I was an ardent rubber carver in my adolescence age. I found out my endless carving tools and rubber plates before I really thought of this. I literally carved out almost 100 seals during that period, and I can remember once I took it to a street to sell some of them… What a crazy childhood. Why the hell I'm so addicted to carving / printing? I bought a binder machine (perfect binding with glue) a few years ago and made 2-3 books, but very poor quality. When I was younger, around 10, I used deadly white A4 paper and made exquisite small brochures (blanks) with my own imagination. I didn't know what I was doing. And I think any decent art student could do it better than me, but they won't spend all their time purposelessly on one thing like I do. I really don't see any deep things in these activities. But, when I see this history by standing here, when I look back put them together as overlapping layers, why these activities are simply painful? The pain is almost overflowing.

    The truth is I was addicted to these DIY activities and use them to relieve my boredom. In my childhood days I was alienated from nature like most kids and the school was boring af.