If you don't write it down, you lose the easiest way to access your history, forever.

I cannot unhate the idea of 'life'. I'm not hating my own life, but the idea of it.

Since i've started serious outdoor training for a while, so again: Why people associate Sports with 'life'?

I'm losing interest in anyone else's music. This probably is the most X-treme idea I've ever had…

你无论以何种方式对牛弹琴，他们总会给出这样一个标准的回答：
你这样 xxx 比做一个 tech guy 好多了，我们时代需要更多你这样的人，blah blah
😂😂😂 有趣的是时代不是选择了这些大厂人——也就是你们吗？我真的不觉得这个时代需要我这样的人。

I've lost interest in live concerts. Maybe I was never truly interested in immersive live concerts in spaces. This distrust of space must stem from something in my own personality but not only a preference. So I shall care more about microphones and studio technology than the immediacy of live performance. Even artificial spatial sounds are more interesting.
And remember, in concert halls, you have to:
- passively listening everything
- The setup is fixed, and you cannot change your listening position flexibly. There's no time to adjust, because once the performance starts, social norms keep people fixed in one place - even at free-entry concerts where you don't have a pre-assigned seat and you can choose seat based on on-spot oberservations quickly (which may converge into what feels like the best position)

Life is not a poetry, but the World is.

Money is spiritual.

Money is even a homophone of Mani.

I'd rather kill myself immediately, if I gradually find I'm not able to success, in the future, literally.
This is the very "my" own stuff.
The traditional way of "life" should be a battle, a war, and I need to defeat my opponents and enemies. If I cannot kill them, I need to win them over.

Living with thoughts,
evolving with thoughts,
elaborating on thoughts,
even summarizing thoughts…

I truly don't understand what people hope to gain by picking up and reading random philosophers. All they end up with are arbitrary optimized moral frameworks for action, including prescribed ways of "thinking" god/gods, including how they need to fucking behave when stay with "friends".

The world of events has nothing to do with the world of ideas - absolutely from my perspective - the two exist on entirely distinct planes. The world of ideas - e.g., the world of fortune-telling theories, the world of deep learning theories - summarizes or alludes at certain patterns within the world of events.

This made me less interested in "know thyself" stuff - "myself", but more on world, history etc. Grand disciplines. That was Ernst Juenger's position.

Mysticism has become ubiquitous, and I'm restraining my disgust for this crowd. They never dig further into what lies beneath. They're just learning, practising and spreading.

My parents have become very radical, avant-gardist, they seemly understand everything I'm doing - they're surrounded by real normies and normies' child - They don't read books (still, even though I bought some giant literature for them), they just exclusively find what I'm doing is always meaningful. Unbelievable.
Yet it's strange my mon silently absorbing anything I was saying. I see it as a price that must be paid, clearly something is morally wrong there, but since what I care about more is knowledge, and education, I need to forget about this, and wait for the transformations.
My mother geniuely appreciate Ketil Bjørnstad etc.'s music now.

I hope no more than 3 years they're able to use Ubuntu linux and I'll prepare everything for that.