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/m/ - Monologue

ἐδιζησάμην ἐμεωυτόν.
Miscellaneous fragmental writings, self-dialogues, and rantings.
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     No.87[Reply]

    认为我道德水平处于更低阶段道德的恶意揣测。即使我不在意道德，我的道德也远超定义了男女之间-人际关系交往的那种庸俗道德。

     No.86[Reply]

    1. some forms of contribution were still nessesary after a spiritual wise guy's death. efforts needed when people want to preserve certain qualities of their individuality.
    2. higher souls need to change the world of Gods as nessesary part of the entire process.
    3. normie gods accompanied by normie souls, also as a nessesary part of the entire process.
    4. the journey of Quest is endless. Union does not occur at a specific, preordained moment.

     No.85[Reply]

    1. light doesn't have an unlimited speed. != eternity (though speed the concept only exists in the presence of time)
    2. light will be blocked by matter
    3. It's not light that fills the entire universe (at least, not visible light)
    All I refer to is the visible light. It's these points that cannot convince me light is the incarnation of the spirit. I really don't understand. I need some gods show me some obviously higher, purer, the primordial light.

     No.84[Reply]

    Philosophy deals with "soul". The process of this dealing, this very analysis, this process, is knowledge, is spirit. (knowledge may !== spirit) Philosophy as a whole, is spirit, and I hope this spirit is a new one. Philosophy shows justice to idolatry.

    Sophia

     No.83[Reply]

    >Be goodly therefore: dress ye all in fine apparel; eat rich foods and drink sweet wines and wines that foam! Also, take your fill and will of love as ye will, when, where and with whom ye will! But always unto me.
    >The emancipation of mankind from all limitations whatever is one of the main precepts of the Book.
    >Bind nothing! Let there be no difference made among you between any one thing & any other thing; for thereby there cometh hurt.
    These deities seem normies to me.

     No.82[Reply]

    natureless spirit - naturloser Geist

     No.80[Reply]

    Sonically speaking, the Noise / industrial "music" is anti-body. At least they anti human ears, a part of the human body. I need to drink a lot of coffee for preparing a listen for these music, to stay away from the pain of my ears - and headache of my head.
    Industrial music, especially, is a kind of music that is far removed from the "soul", and this is one of the reason I appreciate it. I guess my hostility towards the "soul" comes from the actual separation of pain from this "I" - I'm actually dismissive of pain - and I seem to think that the soul and pain are inextricably linked.

     No.81

    >>80
    At certain times, I dismissed "spiritual suffer", yet now want to correct here: what I refered to is soul suffer [1] - surely, in my own understanding. Spirit and soul, to me, are so different, till this day I really confused by philosophers' ambiguous usage of these two terms…
    If deities/gods are merely ideas, souls - (Schelling's views) - then they're not spirits. I agree spirit is somehow equal to intelligence [2], spirit is not that kind of "thing" can be assigned to individuals or collectives, even archetypes (as to archetypes, I'm only guessing here).
    It is not as one-sided as soul. Soul is always one-sided. Soul is unexplainable, is closed.

    [1] spirit don't suffer.
    [2] In music, I agree Varese's views, regarding this "intelligence".

    What is then love? I came to a feeling that, love is proving, love (when as an action) is an effort to recognize the truth. So it might be, Love=Truth, when love as a concept. Therefore, a mathematical proof clearly indicates this "love" in its purest and most recognizable form. Love is about wisdom, knowledge, intelligence, and they're all about spirit, not soul. When I equated knowledge, intelligence, with God, I finally discovered that God can be equated with love. Here I also don't understand why everyone regards love=God as the first condition, because the condition they think is undeniable is a conclusion here.


     No.21[Reply]

    I don't want ecstasy or love. I don't want to be in the One. The light.
    I want thinking, I want music.
    How to write blogs after death? When I still want the process, the action of "writing"?
    How to listen music and make music after death? I don't want to instantly know everything.
    I want a library. And to share it with other philosophers and poets who also need it. If the personified God is wise enough he will let his subordinates provide a space for these users. A special room in the hell with beautiful simulation of nature, so even that's hell that is a beautiful hell with nature.

    I don't want to accompany God, I want to think of him from a distance. I want to help God fulfill the knowledge even after death.

    Greed for knowledge and beauty is also greedy, so obviously I should go to hell.
    2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

     No.24

    >>22
    tfw I don't want to watch the light show that the God provide. But normies they want to watch the light show and they will say like:
    Wow bliss, Wow Love, Wow God, Wow light.

    When you already know this, you will definitely be curious about the principle behind it all. You don't want to be forced to enjoy the death light show, where God and the spirits reveal themselves.

    I only want to be "forced" into watching the God's light show, if they allow me to write poems and remember all the details after these.
    Otherwise I'm not willing to.

     No.53

    I met some local deities in Fujian, they were kind, helpful, brave, they were good in all senses of transcendental human beings - from the view of human beings and too constrained by the field of humanic life and experience. But, they couldn't answer deep questions I attempted to give them, they couldn't understand, or they are too material to be able to think about those topics. They gave me instructions on the most superficial level. I didn't think it was because the lack of communication devices.
    Those deities don't care about the God. Deities just live, just as humans live.
    It's very clear to myself that I only want to "meet" the highest God.

     No.55

    Find that when personally talk about God, one’s speaking becomes extremely superior, hence sounds pretentious. That’s because it’s assumed when someone dead, it’s possible to meet several deities, individually, you could say, but they’re still not that God. There’s no THE God, that you can see, touch, meet etc. when you are living, AND, when you are not living (dead). This is very basic that even those lights (colors etc.) Buddhists see when they enter some specific status when meditating, aren’t very special and mysterious, in relation to the God… I just feel this.
    Think that it maybe harder to read books after one’s life ended, so even you’re alive you aren’t very “far” from the God, namely it’s literally “encapsulated” in every individual.. although I’m not confident at saying this “every”…

     No.64

    >>55
    >St. Augustine says: God is not far off nor is he long in coming. If you want not to be far from God nor to wait long for him, then go straight to him, for in him a thousand years are but as yesterday when it is past.
    >Meister Eckhart, The Book of Divine Comfort

     No.79

    >>53
    A summary has been given at http://dswarmsikhttkg7jgsoyfiqpj3ighupfrvuz5ri3lu5q2dlqyrpgk7ad.onion/posts/ritual-heaven.html


    File: 1748974719053.png (167.97 KB, 776x709,imageMagick_20250604021658.png)

     No.76[Reply]

    >我们作为时间的海盗，奋力奔驰，在滴血的云雾之下去劫掠船只，这船只正是疯癫的疲劳所致！
    “反痛苦”是意大利未来主义运动中的一位，阿尔多·帕拉泽斯基起草的一份宣言的名字，它发布在拉切尔巴杂志上。1914年。“人体的各个部分是可以相互换掉的”，“一个壬越是能从痛苦中发现更多欢笑，獭就越是一个深刻的壬”，“用滑稽模仿精神痛苦的手段”，“以奋发的精神穿过痛苦”，“在墓地举办白昼郊游和 bals masques（假面舞会）”。
    >速度将是有毒的月光的死亡！
    所以说有一天我看到春日烈日又重回大地，网络上的壬为同样的失去活力的社会现实嚎叫连连，这种残忍变的非常有必要：
    >飞驰
    >抓住白色羽毛的每一个触角…飞驰
    >白色羽毛的每一个触角的微型摆动，飞驰
    >我为这样的感觉上瘾
    >反痛苦！钟声变奏！城市之河骤然白夜！

     No.77

    >>76
    我发现不知为何，“对痛苦的无穷无尽的玩味”这种类似的事情，是我最擅长的事情之一。
    >一个壬越是能从痛苦中发现更多欢笑，獭就越是一个深刻的壬
    基本上就是Haydn, Goethe, Stirner等人能深刻吸引我的基础。

     No.78

    >The failed Rommel plan to arrest Hitler was now replaced
    >by the Stauffenberg plot to kill the dictator. On the early
    >evening of 20 July, Hofacker called Stülpnagel and reported
    >that Hitler was dead. Thereupon Stülpnagel ordered the
    >arrest of more than a thousand SS and Sicherheitsdienst agents.
    >He had already set in motion plans to have them face mass
    >executions. But at twenty to eight the same evening, the
    >German radio reported that Hitler had survived. Chaos now
    >reigned in the Hôtel Majestic. Jünger spent the day hunting
    >butterflies in the forest around Saint Cloud and made only
    >veiled references in the journals to the sense of heightened
    >danger when he came back to headquarters.


     No.67[Reply]

    .. would push thinking to the radiancy of feeling.

     No.68

    >The reduction to essence is reduction to the demonic, that is, to full depth of Good or to full depth of Evil, to the radiant source of light or to “the unbreakable core of night.” This is Schelling’s tragic vision of the universe, synthesized in his Freiheitsschrift(Researches on Freedom, 1809). We are torn between heaven and hell (Baader’s influence may be in play here as well). Consequently, the intermediate realm after death is still eventful—a crossing, a wandering—while purgatory as a place of punishment and waiting is abolished as such, at least until Schelling parts company with Swedenborg. Horn properly notes that Schelling relies on a single verse from Revelation (22:11)—“Let him who is filthy be filthy still, and him who is holy be holy still”—stiffly translated by Martin Luther as, “Whoever is wicked, let him remain so; whoever is pious, let him remain so.” In ef­fect, this is the echo of a verse from the Old Testament in which Schelling particularly delights: God is righteous in the right­eous, wicked in the wicked. A similar dichotomy can be found in Swedenborg and Schelling in the pairing of clairvoyance and madness.
    >https://swedenborg.com/scholars-swedenborgs-influence-on-german-idealism-and-mysticism/

     No.75

    The former is always ascending; the latter descending. Only one summits the highest peak of thought, deepest feeling also oozes within. A mysterious aurora then blooms.
    This explains one reason why feeling is reactive. It was born first and functions as a root, a basement.


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