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"Alle Empfindungen stiegen bis zu einer niegekannten Höhe in ihm. Er durchlebte ein unendlich buntes Leben; starb und kam wieder, liebte bis zur höchsten Leidenschaft, und war dann wieder auf ewig von seiner Geliebten getrennt."
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     No.197[Reply]

    子曰:「詩三百,一言以蔽之,曰『思無邪』。」

    Translation by James Legge:
    - The Master said, "In the Book of Poetry are three hundred pieces, but the design of them all may be embraced in one sentence - 'Having no depraved thoughts.'"

    by Ezra Pound:
    - He said : The anthology of 300 poems can be gathered into the one sentence : Have no twisty thoughts.

    None of them are adequate.

    My translations:
    - The Master said, "The Book of Poetry has 300 pieces, (I) cover them in one sentence: 'Thoughts ain't degenerate.'
    - The Master said, "The Book of Poetry has 300 pieces, one sentence to cover them: 'Thoughts ain't degenerate.'

     No.199

    >>197
    Why not simply translate it as:

    The Master said,
    "Book of 300 Poems,
    one sentence to cover them,
    that's - 'Thoughts ain't evil.'"



    File: 1733812941300.png (347.05 KB, 691x940,imageMagick.png)

     No.182[Reply]

    I am shocked that Boehme's worldview described here is almost indistinguishable from what Schelling said in the Ages of the world, but this is perhaps indeed what I expected. Has all of Boehme's teachings become an established common sense for the German romantics? Regarding the Wrath of God and the Love of God, I can only assume that what they refer to are formal concepts that connected to specific opposite activities / actions, the one is positive, the another is negative.
    Btw, Why Schelling's daughter had the name "Auguste Böhmer". Interesting.
    2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

     No.188

    Schelling (in 1811 version):
    1. Wrath (divine egoism) - divinity - Darkness, Nothingness, formless Chaos, Abyss - female "Nature is nothing other than divine egoism, softly and gently subdued by love." (dark world of the Father)
    2. Love - Light, Creation - male "Creation is the conquest of divine selfishness by divine love" (light world of the Son, the son "overcomes the dark force of indifference in the Father", then "only with the emergence of the Son does the Father begin to understand himself and exercise the power of differentiation", hence Schelling believes a gradually self-conscious God)

    Wrath -> Love
    female -> male

    Boehme:
    1. Wrath - Seed - Darkness, Nothingness, formless Chaos, Abyss, contraction - male (dark world of the Father)
    2. Love - Duality - Light, Mirror, Sophia, world of creation, expansion - female (light world of the Holy Spirit)

    Wrath -> Love
    male -> female (this is why Boehme belives that the son of God became human through the Virgin Mary)

    Some of Schelling's other innovations are also mentioned on p. 43-44 of Martensen's Jacob Boehme: His Life and Teaching or Studies in Theosophy.

     No.191

    I think you already knew Schelling (and also Hegel) read Boehme extensively. I think Jung never read Schelling but he has similar thoughts to Schelling. As S. J. McGrath wrote in his The Dark Ground of Spirit this is a current of thought, and has a long tradition that can be dated back to Joachim of Fiore etc. and has many similarity to some Kabbalistic tradition, which Friedrich Heer tried to trace back 70 years ago (so his studies are quite outdated but he had the best big picture, much better than Voegelin, while Voegelin was a better philosopher and was more in line with contemporary thoughts, though he wasn't friendly with this current of thought).
    If you read Peirce you'll find that even if Peirce wasn't an ardent reader of the German Romanticists, he read Schelling, and he's a less artistic but much clearer version of Schelling. Peirce was a better metaphysician, and Schelling was a more versatile and "dramatic" thinker who also did exegesis and studied on religions.
    A Jungian or Hegelian way, or even Peircean way of thinking about this is that by discerning this pattern in religion you're observing the movement of the Spirit.

     No.193

    >>191
    >Peirce
    It looks like the school of pragmatism was a successor to the German Romantics, such as William James' book on religious experience and Peirce's two volumes philosophical writings… (haven't read Peirce yet).
    Gradually I realized that the German Romantics literally made everything blossom…
    Guess Meister Eckhart belongs also to the group of names you mentioned.

     No.194

    >>193
    And I'm carefully reading Hodgkinson's paper these days, generally, all of these seem to be in a same philosophical temperament as what I felt in the history of mountaineering. When I found out that Horace Bénédict de Saussure even had some contact with Goethe, I was literally ecstatic.
    But I think the perennial school should probably be excluded from this alliance.

     No.196

    >>193
    German Romanticism is merely a segment of the current…There's a convoluted history of the emergence of evolutionary thought behind. I still think Heer's book is the best in tracing the current, though it is not conclusive.
    How Goethe studied natural history, how natural history as a discipline emerged in France, etc. parallels and concordances everywhere. I won't even say it is philosophical temperament, it is literally the Spirit moves.
    I'm not sure whether the perennial school should be excluded or not since I don't see any "school" there. It is just a variety of people not accepted in any cultural mainstream (German romanticism is totally a mainstream current) claiming that they are inheriting a certain tradition which is largely imaginary and loosely formed into a so-called school. It is a totally new-age phenomenon, a form of new religion.



     No.195[Reply]

    I don't know the name "Wowaka," but when I want to give this new music a try, I suddenly realized that when I was in the early stage of high school, I listened to GUMI intensively, and in the later stage, I loved K-pop.

    Gumi: https://piped.itinerariummentis.org/watch?v=7F4Cmu6vF-I
    Wowaka: https://piped.itinerariummentis.org/watch?v=vnw8zURAxkU


     No.178[Reply]

    1. God obviously is not only nature, because, music is not nature.
    1.1. most [perhaps all] of the formal musical components exist in nature;
    1.2. the mechanical designs of musical instruments imitate nature;
    1.3. the musical intervals, pitch classes formally exist in nature, like the ratio design of ancient architecture, which literally imitates nature.
    1.4. So music theories formally exist in nature.
    2. the sum of all "good" music pieces equal to the spirit (not really, I doubt it, compared with this statement, I doubt more about this: some single music pieces equal to the wholly of the God. So I put this more forward.) Is the sum of all spirits equal to the soul of the God?
    3. The nature is the body of the God (Schelling's Ages of the World), and the music is the spirits of the God.

    useful references:
    - https://txtdot.deep-swarm.xyz/get?url=https%3A%2F%2Frsarchive.org%2FLectures%2FGA283%2FEnglish%2FAP1983%2F19061203p02.html&engine=&format=html
    - Holy Ghost, Tim Hodgkinson

     No.179

    >>178
    1. Before music existed, God had only a body and no consciousness. Was it the gradual emergence of archetypes that led to the gradual emergence of music? Or, the archetypes were formal components that literally existed in the "beginning", so there is no such thing as "the gradual emergence of archetypes," there were only things like, the musical entity found its ground and became conscious, i.e., talking more about abstract concepts than human life.
    2. Historical evidence of the chronological emergence of music, oral poetry, and ancient religions may indicate some early facts.

     No.192

    >For the past few years, Kolar and her colleagues have been focusing on Chavin de Huantar, a pre-Inca site in Peru that served as a regional religious center. People apparently came to a circular plaza to worship, and to hear an oracle's pronouncements issuing from a stone gallery.
    >The Stanford team conducted a detailed acoustical study of the gallery's cross-shaped passageways. They found that the central duct between the gallery and the plaza would serve as an acoustic filter system, accentuating the tones produced by the priests' ceremonial conch trumpets, known as "pututus."
    >"There was theater going on," Kolar said. The thrilling effect of the trumpet calls and the oracle's words may well have been heightened by the psychoactive effects of the San Pedro cactus that the Chavin people consumed during their rituals.
    >…
    >Lubman says the staircase can produce an aural as well as a visual effect: When you clap your hands at just the right spot, the echo comes back sounding much like the chirp of the quetzal bird, which was sacred to the Maya.
    >https://txtdot.deep-swarm.xyz/get?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nbcnews.com%2Fscience%2Fscientists-revive-sacred-sounds-6C10402460&engine=&format=html



     No.176[Reply]

    >WHY IS music called the divine art, while all other arts are not so called? We may certainly see God in all arts and in all sciences, but in music alone we see God free from all forms and thoughts. In every other art there is idolatry. Every thought, every word has its form. Sound alone is free from form. Every word of poetry forms a picture in our mind. Sound alone does not make any object appear before us.
    >As to what we call music in everyday language — to me architecture is music, gardening is music, farming is music, painting is music, poetry is music. In all the occupations of life where beauty has been the inspiration, where the divine wine has been poured out, there is music. But among all the different arts, the art of music has been especially considered divine, because it is the exact miniature of the law working through the whole universe.
    >Hazrat Inayat Khan

    If they're serious, then I really can't help laughing. What I am most dissatisfied with about those sages of occultism perennial school is that they only use their religious experiential way to describe music or some other art like this. The result is just an overly general definition. If we replace "music" in the sentence with "love", "poetry" or something else publicly recognized as beauty, those sentences are also suitable for any random sages of the perennial school. I've read Schuon's poetry a bit some time ago, but because the content is too general, I think it ultimately lacks spirituality. When Schuon was young, he was said to be deeply influenced by the German romanticism and Sturm und Drang, and he wrote his first poem under this influence, but after becoming older, his poetry became more impersonal and didactical. Tbh I really don't like didactic poems at all, those sages always put themselves in the position of masters or leaders of a community, which really cringe to me.
    Steiner is obviously different from most sages of this kind though.

     No.177

    >>176
    >If we replace "music" in the sentence with "love", "poetry" or something else publicly recognized as beauty, those sentences are also suitable for any random sages of the perennial school.
    Correct. And that's divine simplicity.

     No.180

    >>177
    Do you mean perennial school believes the idea of divine simplicity, so they always tend to make eclecticism claims like this?
    I have not yet considered them from any central idea in the history of philosophy. I think so mainly because I encountered the concept of alpha-conversion proposed by Alonzo Church for lambda-calculus some time ago, which made me gradually feel that those claims are very suspicious simply because the replaceability of those "variables" (music or architecture, painting and other arts) in sentences in terms of their context.

     No.189

    >>177
    >>180
    That is absolutely not divine simplicity as I understand it, though there are many versions of divine simplicity. The most widely used version and the standard usage of the term refers to the metaphysical position that God is pure act of Being itself, and Being itself is good and beautiful etc. So God is not some'thing' that is 'Good' which can be alpha-substituted by, say, 'Beauty', but the only term that is simultaneously the subject and the predicate.

     No.190

    >>189
    >It [existence] is not a real or determining predicate, for it does not add any determinate feature or content to the concept of an object [so far, complete agreement with Kant]. Rather ‘-exists’ is a non-determining predicate; It is taken to designate that activity which is the reason why things have any determining predicates at all. Existence is here understood as ‘active’ existence or ‘actualization.
    > What Aristotle had conceived as the highest and most perfect kind of ‘divine’ being’ was the activity of νόησιϛ νόησεωϛ or ‘thought thinking itself’. The divine life in Christian theology and speculation was conceived indeed as essentially an activity rather than a ‘substance’ and as triune in its interrelations.

    God's Esse is essentia, since God is pure act of Being. That is divine simplicity.



     No.183[Reply]

    I never understand why many composers never think someone make documentaries for them (and maybe they will actively engaged in) is cringe. Perhaps only Scelsi is an exception. In this regard, Scelsi is a truly dignified composer, and all exhibitionists who try to pretentiously make others know, praise or criticize themselves are hypocritical and disgusting. Most poets and philosophers, or ancient composers, music theorists, never cared about their fame in their day, they just did their own thing.

     No.184

    Similarly, if Ron Gregg knows that the company OR made a documentary film for him, https://inv.nadeko.net/watch?v=qjeJU1pk1X8, I can't imagine how disappointed he would be. Many individuals who obviously have self-conscious dignity will not be willing to have someone make this kind of thing for themselves after their death, so they seem to be defiling them by doing so.

     No.185

    Why do bands love to put their ugly, disgusting, big faces on those equally ugly designed posters? Why they never feel ashamed? Why are there so many disgusting pictures of them and they are so proud of themselves? Why they love to spread their stupid names? I don't think some mentally retarded people who naturally addicted to cool cultures 🍆💧 have anything to do with God's good or evil. Even their evil is so mediocre and low-level. Can they be as "evil" as Lautreamont?



     No.181[Reply]

    I love Dorian Electra's music.

    Quoted from my early comment on her (mayber his LOL) music:
    > Splendid blend of hardstyle and hyperpop, masterful production quality. Iron Fist is the best track, the best of its kind. Electra, True Lord of hyperpop.
    >It doesn't take much for people to feel the superiority of Electra over the likes of PCMusic, i.e. A.G. Cook, or Yung lean&Bladee. Electra is almost in line with Lady Gaga's legend.
    >Boring tracks: 4, 6-8.

    Highly recommend the album My Agenda. Just care nothing about her claims on gender issues :-)


     No.145[Reply]

    >I am Consciousness, I am Bliss, I am Shiva, I am Shiva.
    >
    >Without hate, without infatuation, without craving, without greed;
    >Neither arrogance, nor conceit, never jealous I am;
    >Neither dharma, nor artha, neither kama, nor moksha am I;
    >I am Consciousness, I am Bliss, I am Shiva, I am Shiva.
    >
    >Without sins, without merits, without elation, without sorrow;
    >Neither mantra, nor rituals, neither pilgrimage, nor Vedas;
    >Neither the experiencer, nor experienced, nor the experience am I,
    >I am Consciousness, I am Bliss, I am Shiva, I am Shiva.
    >
    >Without fear, without death, without discrimination, without caste;
    >Neither father, nor mother, never born I am;
    >Neither kith, nor kin, neither teacher, nor student am I;
    Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
    17 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

     No.171

    File: 1731648795464.png (59.39 KB, 792x612,tor-on-and-https-on.png)

    >>168
    >Tor doesn't help even a bit for your anonymity as to whether the local authority can detect whether you're using Tor.
    Yes I know that. The police will know the location, and whether or not Tor is being used.

    I think I really didn't make it clear what I mean. The "regional" network I refer to refers to a public network rather than a private home network. A public network means that many people are using it at the same time, and more users do mean that individual traffic will no longer glowie in the dark. What I envision may be that in a regional public network, there will be really a large number of people using the tor network at the same time, which makes the anonymous method completely effective… (assume that biological threats including cameras and monitors are not within the scope of discussion)

    But you know, of course I doubt whether people can get this place, but I don't think it should be so difficult in Europe. The tor network still needs more publicity and popularization, so I want to use it more. If you think that I only allow visitors visit my bloated website over tor will cause a waste of bandwidth, a better way may be that I shrink more media content, but this becomes very strange again for me. It seems to me that it is an unnecessary restriction. I would rather become more "unethical" and be a "user" (but then again, I don't think I have ever done any actual action to pay for foss commmuuunity or tor network)

     No.172

    >>171
    As for my using of home network which totally makes me glowing, ich finde that in fact, when cops cannot access the inside content, they will not care at all, since they're clumsy and lazy. Another possibility is that cops are no longer planning to watch me now. Because the previous situation of being watched by cops was in SH, I later found that outside that place, including Guangdong and Fujian, that kind of situation would not occur, especially Fujian.
    So I gradually came to the conclusion that in addition to give up using the internet, the way to be truly anonymous is to not let any glowie user/group/platform know about myself.

    Well, maybe I have added more unimportant details now.

     No.173

    >>171
    Oh it still doesn't make sense to me because using Tor itself is just "dangerous" even if you're in a public network unless you do something about your MAC address etc. and I think you already know that. You individual traffic will always be glowing in the dark and when Tor is popularized they'll just crack it down completely. Using Tor is of no help. China works just different from the States, the "threat model" is completely different. You're confusing the case in China between the case in the States or EU. It's just totally different.
    In China simply being a Catholic can make police contact you, and using Tor is no different from being a Catholic. They may not know what you're doing on Tor, but they don't care. In the first place they're doing this not mainly for censoring but for the sake of creating an isolated economic system so that the big techs in the States won't be able to monopolize the market and make Chinese internet dependent on the States.

     No.174

    >>172
    In the States and possibly EU they really want to know what you're doing, but in China they just don't. It is not that when cops cannot access the content they don't care, it is that since normal user won't access your site they'll no longer care.
    But still I don't understand why they are shaming themselves by lol watching even you. They're too rich maybe. There are plenty of people hosting websites on an oversea server, in Beijing or Shanghai, but I've never heard similar stuff happening.

     No.175

    >>171
    And again why so personal? I'm not saying that your site is problematic. I just don't let any media to be played on Tor and it's unreasonable to connect to, say, piped, over Tor, that was my point. The crucial point was piped, not your site which I doesn't care. Whether you host a clearnet site or not I don't care. Whether you do anything on Tor I don't care, but the point simply is, to stream video over Tor is totally unreasonable and strange and I can't think of a single reason to do that. And that was that and no more.
    But on the other hand the claim that Tor introduces anonymity regarding Chinese authority it just doesn't make any sense. Over a proxy they'll never be able to know what you're doing on the net, except that you're connecting to a proxy, so it's no different from Tor, and maybe better since stuff like v2ray can obfuscate more completely than obfs or snowflake since they're specifically designed for that.
    The picture you attached and stuff like that it's really about the case in the States. They normally won't watch people simply because someone uses Tor. Even if you're the only one using Tor in a public space to really get you they'll need to first trace back from, say, a black market activity, and google search logs (which are stored like for 10+yrs), and isolate that area out, and then they'll be able to catch you because you're the sole one over Tor. But that requires hell more work and is much more precise than what the Chinese are trying to do.



     No.149[Reply]

    Years ago I've listened that famous Live 2002 then I really into this kind of "microsound" electronic music. But from that time on, I was more interested in Mika Vainio than Ikeda and Alva Noto. For Alva Noto, whose bourgeois soyence music only made me cringe so much, so later he frequently collaborates with Sakatomo, and obviously copying Deleuze's ideas (like Richard Pinhas) made me cringe more.

    What the hell is this: https://inv.nadeko.net/watch?v=Y_-hKHbO-GE and this https://inv.nadeko.net/watch?v=8bH38uf3qa4
    1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

     No.152

    >>149
    Mika Vainio is the one I'm least interested in. His music lacks a minimal amount of complexity that will make me keep interested. His music is energy-driven, but I'm totally uninterested in this "guttural" aspect of music. Characteristically Vainio's music is very Hindu and without much Logos.
    Alva Noto's style is bourgeois but he can create rhythms with a lot of drive and force. It isn't something bodily, isn't associated with literal dance; he's really good at making broken passages, his breaks while repetitive are always violent and at the same time never groovy. I think Ikeda's rhythm is also not "bodily". I don't like traditional electronic music rhythm that "makes you want to dance" or whatever that reminds me of club since I hate club. For example I don't like ultratronics 07, 08, 09 but I love ultratronics 02, 04, 13.
    When Noto works with Vainio or Ikeda they create great music. For example mov.4 and mov.10 in Live 2002 was impossible without Noto.

     No.158

    >>152
    Any album recommendations for Alva Noto?
    By the way, I see you like Atom™. So why is his music not "bodily", his music made me relate to some Nietzsche-blackmetal stuff. Energy. Idk, I'm really impatient when I listen to something like Atom™. Maybe too chaotic sludge metal like this https://kollect.itinerariummentis.org/user/gesang/items/019311c9-97d4-7841-9246-78fd58fdc8a2 would also make me impatient to finish all their tracks. But theoretically I really liked this one.
    Okay, I didn't even finish listen Sleep I guess.

     No.160

    >>158
    Recommendation? No, his albums are not good, but I learnt a lot by simply listening to him. I just like how he handles rhythm, and only that; I don't like his other choices, especially his choice of tones and the whole aesthetic. You see I always separate the good parts out and when I recommend/listen to something it's nearly never wholehearted.
    When he works with Ikeda/Vainio it becomes good, for example Live 2002, and Cyclo. Id. Especially Cyclo. Id. It maybe really hipster but the way the sounds are organized is mind blowing.

    IDK how The Body can be related to Atom^{TM} since I sense no connection between them. But neither of them are chaotic.
    "Bodily" is something subtle since everything can be "bodily". But for me when rhythms become fixed and groovy like, eh, traditional electronic music, it becomes "bodily". And I need organization.
    Atom^{TM}. Wow, why is it chaotic? It's extremely ordered to me. In general I want musicians to restrict the range of timbre/tones they use and organize them well without being too club-rhythmic/groovy.
    The Body has a slowly evolving texture and a dynamic. I don't think it is similar to Sleep at all. Sleep is stoner and has great solos but sounds like a jam band, The Body is really more like Sunn O))) but more structured.

    For me Nietzsche is really never related to any electronic music, neither to black metal. Keith Jarrett's improvisations, especially Vienna Pt.1, Scala Pt.1, Paris Concert, they're Nietzschean. I'll never link Nietzsche to any subculture-like music but to the grand Western tradition and Americana, etc.
    It's really strange to me since Nietzsche for me is a philosopher of value and morality, not a philosopher of whatever will to power. He's an extremely ethical and classical man, and to some extent Deleuze was also an extremely classical man, his philosophy per se never reminds me of any electronic music or subculture but classy Leibniz, Spinoza, etc. I don't understand the connection you makes.

     No.161

    >>160
    >rhythms become fixed
    I remember once I said that rhythm is important for me, actually my point is that, the focus on the dynamical flowing of rhythm, not a fixed rhythm. Club-like techno electronic music always has a fixed rhythm, that's not what I like. I always think that Subotnick is the one who has a great grasp of rhythm in his music, especially in his Until Spring series. Like a rhythmic metamorphosis.
    >I don't think it is similar to Sleep at all
    Yes I'm also. I'm not saying that AtomTM is similar to Sleep.
    >The Body
    Their album is obviously chaotic to me, i.e. layers of digital effects are very rich, and their blending of electronic stuff (A Cloud Broke Open). I feel that The Body is indeed industrial music.
    Sun O))) is not chaotic for me.

    The premise is that the chaotic I refer to is to the timbre and sound, i.e. chaotic means too much noise. As for the structure, I view it completely separately from whether it is chaos or not. For a industrial example, some of Jun Konagaya's music is chaos, but it is clearly structured, but some of them are purely chaoic. Of course it is the structure that I can perceive.

    I guess it should be something of a mathematical intuition for you to associate "chaotic" with the clarity of structure, so maybe this is because my terminology here is not mathematically unified (obviously I am just starting to learn FOL now), but I associate chaotic more with the richness of noise, in music, especially for metal music or industrial music, this should also be understandable I think.
    >Deleuze
    May have been abused by many electronic musician or Bernhard Lang.

     No.164

    >>161
    Oh please don't single out the individual phrases. It's OK for me that they're fixed if they're fixed properly and the fixation doesn't remind me of a certain already-formed, highly stereotyped (sub)culture.
    Also I'm constantly updating my conception of music and what I've said a year ago or so won't really work for me. For example one or two years ago I would have thought that music may really be about sound but now I've abandoned that position since I'm constantly being dissatisfied by contemporary music. When I say something is "great" it is not usually admiration but simple approval of a certain germ that I think is present in this something which is worthy of looking into.
    The point is still to use the right sound for the right rhythmic pattern and this "rightness" I guess is not an abstract invariant. People like Subtonick have too much going on in their music so it's hard to say anything substantial when we're just going to single out the rhythmic aspect. But let's say, ultratronics 04 versus 02, the former one utilizes sounds that are more "round" and "bouncy", if these bouncy sounds are replaced by harsher sounds like those used in ultratronics 08 it won't work at all. This is not "horizontal", but its more natural for the horizontal expansion of the, say, musical structure, to be more coherent and structured, than when the sounds just are organized for the sake of, say, the richness of the overall soundscape.
    If I'm to make analogy to poetry, some poets, though widely liked, are just pure shit to me since they cannot stop using their literary devices and often use them inappropriately. The breath, the flow are simply absent in their poems. For example, even though I like Trakl's poems, his poems are very "idiotic" in that he didn't seem to really notice any of the rhythmic, "metric", aspects of his poetry. Hoelderlin, by contrast, is very conscious of it, so in the "late" poems (written around 1800 not after his madness) he switches between the short terse Hebrew form of metrics and the seemless, flowing, grand metric of Greek poetry, and his language, his literary device, also transforms in accordance to the transform of the formal aspects; and his poetry is always extremely structured. Now, what I'm most dissatisfied with, say, Autechre, is that his music when made analogy to poetry is like poems that are densely filled with metaphors, symbolisPost too long. Click here to view the full text.



     No.144[Reply]

    I was an ardent rubber carver in my adolescence age. I found out my endless carving tools and rubber plates before I really thought of this. I literally carved out almost 100 seals during that period, and I can remember once I took it to a street to sell some of them… What a crazy childhood. Why the hell I'm so addicted to carving / printing? I bought a binder machine (perfect binding with glue) a few years ago and made 2-3 books, but very poor quality. When I was younger, around 10, I used deadly white A4 paper and made exquisite small brochures (blanks) with my own imagination. I didn't know what I was doing. And I think any decent art student could do it better than me, but they won't spend all their time purposelessly on one thing like I do. I really don't see any deep things in these activities. But, when I see this history by standing here, when I look back put them together as overlapping layers, why these activities are simply painful? The pain is almost overflowing.

    The truth is I was addicted to these DIY activities and use them to relieve my boredom. In my childhood days I was alienated from nature like most kids and the school was boring af.


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